when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize