Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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