apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
