u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize