Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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