i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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