i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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