FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
