dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
