whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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