if you like me you must not know who I am
I want to make a zoo with you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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