i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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