As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Say something about gay babies.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
