this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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