now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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