ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
