I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
