What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
