I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
