Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
