Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I lost the right to judge tonight
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
