You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
