we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
