There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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