She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
