I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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