and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just invented taco cereal.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize