we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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