what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
