How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
