I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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