my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
