so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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