Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
