East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
