And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
