so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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