Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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