I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
