you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
