i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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