The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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