Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
