How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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