Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
