He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my sisters under your porch take her home
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
