It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
