...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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