Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
