i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
