dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize