Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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