I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
