Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
