It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
