There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
