Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
