Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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