3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
