im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
