champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
