I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
