my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i out mim tonsoeep
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