I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
