Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
