normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
