Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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